Chapter 20: Ninjas and Normal Shit

I always ask myself this one question when I'm watching a movie, especially the action movies. When did the fighter in the movie just sit down exhausted from killing one hundred ninjas. You'd have to be at least thirsty after all of that, I mean Jesus, Im thirsty now just writing this. I can feel my tongue, dry as I unstick it from the top of my mouth. But back to my question, when does all the normal shit happen in these action movies. You're telling me the ninja killer isn't going to spend a least 30 minutes at his computer resetting his password on his online account so he can pay his gas bill? It was a question that was often at the forefront of my thoughts recently. But I did manage to come up with the answer and its adrenalin, a lot of drugs as well, but mainly adrenalin. I had been in more fights in the past few weeks then I'd been in my whole life. How did I manage to make it through all this without curling up in the fetal position and giving up: the answer to that one's called 'the greater good' or living for something bigger than yourself. We started this project, building Steel Raps, creating something that no one has come close to one field of robotics and artificial intelligence. We were destined to see this through and the closer we came to the end the fiercer we became. I suppose I should describe my surroundings as I write this, a pile of dishes in the sink, computer equipment covering about every free surface the ashtrays aren't covering and the kitchen table, piled high with guns. Yeah, we had a meeting with Nawlns Jr later tonight but more about that later, time to rest after I reset this password so I can pay this gas bill.

Chapter 19: Talk Gently to the Giant

Back into the pit we went. The VIP experience was a little too real for us anyway. We ordered another round of shots after the first 3. We were throwing caution to the wind at this point. We've already already been to hell and back and were probably on our way there again.

"So what's the plan again?" Danny asked

"Not to suck dick!" My humor was more twisted by the day.

"I just think one round of paper, rocks, scissors is not enough to decide maybe two out of..."

I interrupted again, "Stop fucking around already and just focus on the code, remember we only have one shot at this. Just say the code in the mic when you battle Steel then he'll reset and we'll ."

"Alright, alright, alright..."the host came on the mic, annoying but comforting somehow. The lights dimmed. Showtime. "Now, it is the time to do what we came here to do...can I get a aaaa-yo?"

The crowd, begrudgingly in response, "aaaaa-yo"

"I can't hear you, can I get a hell yeah!" The lights were all the way down now.

"HEEEEELLLLL YEEEAAAH!!!" The crowd was onto the warm-up and put an end to it with one affirmative shout.

"Okay okay okay..." The host always spoke in threes for some reason. "We have a very special night planned for you all. This is not your ordinary rap battle. This is a limited edition, special battle we have planned. Winner takes all, as usual. This is King of the Hill. Each rapper will have a chance to battle the one, the only, Steel Raps to throw him off the top. If that contestant, that sooth sayer, ryhme spayer, rapper with the mostest but not more than the hostest, should succeed..." He looked around at the crowd gauging interest. " ...then he will become the next king of the hill and will win a very special prize which will be revealed at the end of the show." I glanced over, Sho Nuff was massaging Steels shoulders like a prize fighter next to the stage whispering into his ears to what looked like from across the room to be the cure to cancer.

"First up, first challenger, first to take a stab at the king..." The host opening the list to read off the first name. "Danny VIP...Mr VIP, please come to the stage an take this mic." I glanced at Danny ready to laugh but the anxiety of getting Steel smothered the laughter. Danny made his way to the side of the stage. He's was cursing under his breathe the whole time walking up to the stage. "Okay VIP, you know the rules. 30 seconds on the clock, Dee Jay drop that moths fuckin beat already."

Badumm Dumm  krshhh Badumm Dumm krshhh...

The bass shook the building it was so loud. Danny was warming up the beat with a couple yo's as he unraveled the paper with the code. Steel stood akimbo across the stage. Red light streaming out from behind his sun glasses. Why would they change his eye colors? Either way he'd be reset in a second...

"Oh ffffuck..." I noticed the engineer pointing towards Danny in the stage and whispering into Nuff's ear. Nuff looked startled. Shit they knew what we were up to. And just as I realized Nuff's crew dashed out on the stage grabbing Danny. I rushed the stage and pulled one of the dudes feet out from under him. It was an all out brawl. The fighting from the stage grew to the floor, pretty soon I didn't
know who I was fighting. As I kicked one dude in the balls I yelled over to Danny to get out of here. I pointed towards the back door where Steel and Nuff slipped out of.

We crashed through the back door, the same door we exited the club last time from. "Shit, they're gone." We saw the tail lights of Nuff's Cadillac take off down the street. Then a voice behind us...

"Yun boys tr'an take on de big gator, hm?"  If was the same Louisiana accent from before. He stood behind smoking a cigarette underneath the little light of the alley in gator skin boots and a very large knife proudly hung on his belt buckle.

"Who are you man?"

"Da names Nawlins Jr." The name registered but I couldn't quite place it.

"Oh you're Nawlin's son?!" This was the son of the man Nuff murdered years back. I could see in his eyes what he wanted. "Revenge?"

"Sho Nuff."

Chapter 18: If I Ever Go To Prison-- "I Ain't Sucking Dick"

I found a crowded place at the bar as far away from VIP.  This could work, once Steel was disengaged I was hedging against the fact Nuff would no longer want him and leave him for scraps.  Danny put his hand on my shoulder.  "Finally you made it Danny, what took y-."

"Hey slim."  I was frantic.  Nuff stood there smiling.  The cat had the mouse cornered.  "Get your drink slim.  I feel like we got off on the wrong foot.  I don't think I ever told you anything about me, about the music game back in the day, about how I got to where I am."

I shrugged my shoulders, I just wanted him to stop talking.

"There are times everybody hits obstacles.  And when you hit those, you think you know what the right thing to do is.  But your brains all scrambled, up is down, left is right, you know what I'm saying?"

Please shut up.  No? There's more? Please continue...

"When I hit obstacles I always asked myself one question.  How. Far. Are you. Willing. To go?"  Nuff paused.  I didn't know whether that was rhetorical or just a threat.

"I guess so."

Nuff continued, "when I was your age, the answer for me was always-all the way.  Nothing and nobody got in my way.  But hey, lighten up this is a party, plus I'm an old dude."  He pauses to sip from his oversized pimp cup.  "But you know, sometimes habits die hard.  Guess I should slow down but I feel like sometimes I'm just getting started."

Danny just showed up and froze with his eyes popping out.

"Danny, hey man, just talking to your man slim here.  Just about to bring you guys over to the VIP.  Tonight we gonna party, how's that sound, c'mon now grab your drinks."

We sat there on the far end of the couch.  Absolutely humiliated.  We just became Nuff's bitches.  Cyrus and Fishlips would look over and mock us.  "We're so glummm, nobody likes us, eeerrrrr."  Then laugh as they threw back drinks.  Steel stood in the back silent like the headlights of a car parked in the dark woods.

This is so fucking humiliating.  What the fuck were we thinking.  This is like prison.  I'm stuck in prison on a VIP couch getting mind-fucked by a murderous old thug and his group of misfits and wasn't a damn thing I could do.  If this was prison, this is me having to suck dick.  The first night in prison and I'm already sucking dick.  I'm a fucking jail bitch.  Pretty soon I'll be taking it up the ass on the regular and when Nuff is done with me I'll get traded like a commodity for a pack of smokes.  Probably never be the same, cause habits are formed they don't break....fuck this.   I'm not sucking dick.  Fuck that, you better kill me cause I'm not sucking dick, you dick sucking mother fuckers.  I ain't spending the rest of my life as a dick sucker.  Fuck this.  Fuck this.

"Fuck this. I ain't sucking dick"  I let it out surprising myself, but I meant it.  Everyone stopped to look over.

Nuff asked, "Come again slim?"

"Fuck you, I'm not sucking dick."

"Oh yeah". As pulled a blade out but the engineer stopped him "not here playa'."

Cyrus jumped up in front of me, "what pla-" I threw a punch at him and it misfired in his neck.  Fish lips, Nuff and a bunch of other goons jumped at me as the intensity exploded.  Steel roared and everyone froze.  He went crazy and started throwing tables, chairs, punched holes in the wall and threw one of Cyrus goons into the air when he stepped in the way.  All of us were frozen.  It was like watching a lion in a room full of gazelles.  After that hour-long second, Fishlips jumped over to stop him "Steel!  Chill man chill" as he laid his hand on Steel we couldn't believe what we were about to see.
Fishlips started convulsing.  He was being electrocuted.  Steel stopped as Fishlips dropped to the ground wriggling and writhing like a fish out of water.  After pissing himself, he passed out and rolled off the VIP deck.  Danny broke the silence, "what the fuck man?  Did you just see that too?"  Probably foreign voltage built up from jumping around. 

Nuff leaned over and without hesitation signaled to his goons, "get this mother fucker out of here, bad for business, drop him off in front the ER, rolling stop, ya'll know the drill."  Nuff turned around to the DJ to start the music, "ok slim, think you better find a more congenial place to sit tonight.  And slim, guess we know the answer to that question huh?"

Danny and I ordered three shots a piece.  A man next to us looked over and muttered, "ges jawns gon dun pik da fight wit da big gator, huh?  Bu' yat be kay, eh jus ain't met abigga gata' yet, naw'm sayin'?...awrite, you's boys njoy ya drink." 

Chapter 17: Rappers, Paper, Steel...Go!

There I was again. The one place I never wanted to come back to. I suppose this was the repetition of life.

Danny and I stood in the middle of the club. It was Thursday, and on every second Thursday of the month, a new rap battle. The atmosphere was heightened by Sho Nuffs presence. Danny was excited. I have to admit, so was I. We were on a mission to return stolen property.

"Look there's Steel" Danny pointed to the corner of the club where the tables were. Steel was amidst enemies and he didn't even know it. It looked like a rap video. Bottle service, everyone dressed like it's their fucking birthday. Sho Nuff would taunt everyone on the non-VIP side of the rope. It was clear to me he was insecure with class and divisions when in the end it was only a rope separating him and the rest of the crowd. Fuck him. If I ever got the chance I would hang him by that VIP rope. I'd put on his tombstone, RIP broke motherfucker hung by...I digress.

"Something's different about him, his eyes...they're red!?" Danny pointed. "We have to get him away from the group so I can reprogram him." There was a series of words that if said in order would reset Steel's programming back to its defaults so whatever changes Nuff's engineer made would be undone. It wasn't easy retrieving the 'series of words' either. After realizing we both didn't remember the code, Danny disappointed that he'd have to revisit his friend from the backyard, explained how he had written the code on a piece of paper but that paper was in his pocket when he was jumping the fence with the dog in tow. Just as he leapt over the fence the paper fell and the dog ate it. Let's just say returning to the rap battle was not the first half of this mission. The first half involved laxatives and patience. Danny pulled the paper out of his pocket rehearsing the code just in case he didn't have time to read it to Steel.

"So how exactly do you expect to get Steel away from them again?" And just like that...

"Any last contestants please sign in now the battle will begin shortly." We both knew this was our chance and without hesitating," rocks, paper, scissors...rocks!" Danny had scissors.

"Fuck me" Danny made his way to the back where the sign ups were. 

This just might work

Chapter 16: Don King and Mean Dogs

"You just going to stand there?  Where is he slim?"

I nodded towards the back room.  Nuff lurched up.  "He's broken."  I bleated out.

"We'll see."

Nuff disappeared through the hallway.    I looked over to the other two.  "What?  You two touch pee pee's now?"

Fishlips responded, "just business," quickly hiding behind another gloss of Chapstick.

"Yeah you think I'm going to get O.J.'d and let this just happen?"

Cyrus quickly responded, "it just did playa'."

Nuff appeared again holding Steel like a giant baby, struggling under the weight.  "What are you two?cheerleaders?  Come help me with him."

"Told you he was broken.  Only I can fix him.  What are you going to do with him?"

"No need slim, remember my engineer?  Turns out he's a rocket scientist too.  Gonna get him purring like a kitten.  Steel's my new prize fighter."

"Are you the Don King of rap now?"

"Only in America baby."

I watched them struggle to get Steel into the backseat and I shut the front door.

I stood there frozen, replaying what just happened.  Then another knock.  Fishlips stepped back inside.  "Um, You got his power cord?"

I fetched it from the back room and threw it at him.

"No hard feelings right man?"  He unsheathed his Chapstick and I slapped it out of his hand.  "Get out."  As he leaned down to pick up his Chapstick, "leave it!  That's mine now!"  Silly thinking back to that now, but felt right at the time.

Fishlips put two hands up, "just business man."  I slammed the door behind him catching the back of his shoe.  Another small win.

I called Danny and he actually picked up.  "Danny where have you been?  They took Steel and I think Natasha  was with them."

"I know."

"What are talking about you know."

"I'm here, open the door."

I opened the door to Danny in head to toe camouflage and covered in leaves and dirt.

Danny rushed past me to the kitchen and started raiding the fridge.  "What did Steel say when they took him?"

"Ducks and bunnies," Danny looked up perplexed, "...never mind.  Where have you been?"

"I've been tailing Natasha, so I had to go in survivalist mode...I had to jump through a few back yards to get here, how long do tetanus shots last?"

"What are you talking about, you're not making sense?"

"Oh right, you have mean dogs out here.  I was two yards away and jumped in the wrong yard.  I was halfway up the fence and the most discontent terrier I've ever come across bit my ass.  He was hanging there and wouldn't let go."

"How'd you get rid of him?"

"Oh right, the bite made me fart.  And believe me after eating all the cans of beans while I was in hiding, made him cry and run away, fucking mutt."

"Jesus, well, look we need a plan to get Steel back, he could be dangerous in the wrong hands...then we're going to dismantle him."

"I know just what to do," Danny responded with unusual clarity.  "Remember the fail safe words?  We can use that to turn him off.  Our best chance is to get him at the big battle tomorrow night."

"I don't really remember the fail safe, do you?"

"I thought you would know."

Chapter 15: The Difference between Telling and Asking

There was a knock on the door.  Jesus who is it at this time.  I opened the door, Nuff appeared in front of me, and smiled like the Cheshire cat.  "We gotta talk."  He strode past me and I could see standing outside his car were Fishlips and Lord Cyrus.
"Please tell me I'm dreaming."

"I can say two things for certain.  One that I am certain I just ate a delicious plate of waffles and eggs.  And as certain as I am that those were waffles and eggs, I assure you slim, you are certainly not dreaming."

"What do you want?"

Nuff sat down comfortably.  "Where's Steel, where's my boy St-e-e-e-l", he called out.

"He's asleep."

"Asleep huh.  Let me ask you something slim.  What do you think I do out here? Matter of fact let me answer that for you.  You see that's what they call a rhetorical question."

"I know what a rhetorical question is."

"Ooooh now hold on slim.  Don't get ahead of yourself.  We're just having a nice relaxed conversation."  As Fishlips and Lord Cyrus walked in.  "I won't even make you answer no questions slim how about that?  I'll keep asking more of those rhetorical questions."

"You see now what is the most important part of being an artist?  Let me answer that.  You need to stay relevant.  And the only way one can stay relevant is by first and foremost, " as he rose from his chair and leaned in towards me, "...you know what I'm about to say?  No, don't answer my bad, it's about leveling the playing field.  See what I'm getting at?  DAMN, my bad again slim, I promised you didn't need to answer no questions."

"What is this? Am I getting muscled here?"

"Super job slim, A plus.  But I shouldn't be surprised, you's a rocket scientist ain't you?"

Fishlips and Cyrus chuckled in the background.

"So let me ask you slim, how long you think you and Danny could keep your little secret?  My bad again.  See that wasn't rhetorical.  Oh well, maybe I ain't as smart as you slim.  But I know when I need to level the playing field.  That's just the right thing to do.  Isn't that fair wouldn't you say?  GODDAMMiT."  As he slammed his fist into the table.  "I did it again, guess I should just stop asking and start telling.  Go get Steel."

Chapter 14: The Comfort of Sleep

I had enough.  I went to sleep.  It had become the only place of solace.  But even there my problems emerged in strange forms.  I was washing felt and dirt off the dishes.  The wetter and harder I washed the greasier and messier they became.  I turned behind to Steel who was supervising, "how am I supposed to do this?  There's antlers every where?  Why?"

"That's how you have to clean them."  I believed him without question.

With lifelike movements Steel shifted his weight as he stood behind waiting for me to finish.

I couldn't concentrate with Lord Cyrus and Danny running around in the other room.  They were laughing as they pulled the wires out of the walls.

When they reached the baseboard, they starting ripping apart the wood, laughing hysterically.

Fishlips appeared from the other room and began wrapping me in the arm.  He was laughing and frolicking too and began tearing the electrical wires out of Steel.

He took out a knife from the drawer and used it to pry out the remaining electric.  It didn't bother Steel, it actually made him more life like.  Shifting under his shirt as a mannequin coming to life.  I looked over my shoulder and told Fishlips to stop.  He turned his attention to me and started stabbing me in the ribs.  I was going to die, but I couldn't look down until I finished cleaning the dishes.  Danny reminded me that we weren't really alive unless we were willing to die, and at that moment I truly felt regret.
The webbing grew exponentially over the dishes.  I turned the water to boiling hot and blood seeped from the antlers coagulating when it touched the air.  The steam caused my teeth to soften and pieces began falling out.

"Wake up" laughed Fishlips.

"Yes wake up" confirmed Steel.

Danny and Lord Cyrus mocked in the other room, "yeah c'mon wake up, hahaha."

I awoke.  The dawn was just breaking and Steel's shadow became visible.  Under my breath "what a dream."

"I dream" stated Steel softly.

"What are you talking about, you don't dream, you recharge and defragment, you're not real."

Steel paused.  "What are dreams but a collection of recordings associated in a mirage of sensory responses. What do you think makes you human?"

"Emotions, a soul...for one."

"And what are emotions but calculated responses informed by events past, a soul simply the identity of those collections defined by what it is not."

"Ok but what do you feel when you see that sunrise?"

"I see what you call beauty, in fact I see infinitely more, which makes me more human than human.  I see an infinity array of colors.  The complexity is pleasing for many reasons that are too complex for you to understand.  The lines of code that make me up are not dissimilar from your genetic codes, it's just that mine are more logical and efficient."

"Son of a-" he was right.

"Ok Steel lets go through your prompts."  The startup checks hadn't been done in weeks and with the big battle coming up we had to get him functioning top notch.

"What's your name?"

"Steel"

"Good...Where are you from?"

"Original date January 15th"

"No where were you manufactured?"

"Ducks and bunnies, bunnybunnybunnybunnybunny duck -d-d-d-d...fatal error."

"Uh oh"